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I’m Baaaaaaack!

Hey guys, I’m back from Scotland. It was really good, but I was so tired. SO tired.

Firstly, we drove up there really early (and it took a long time), and only had a few hours when we arrived there to get settled in, but a man in a kilt greeted us, so I was very happy. Lauryn and I had Scotland fever and we were always on the lookout for Scottish people. It was funny.

At night, we went into our room (we shared) and watched a movie, finishing QUITE late (around 11:30 or something) and couldn’t sleep because we were laughing a lot. We kept quoting bits from Life of Brian (we’d watched it the day before) and laughing our heads off. Then I got a horrible headache– and I mean HORRIBLE. It felt like someone was chiselling into the side of my head. Ouch. But I had some chamomile tea and it was alright.

But the next day we went and looked around the town we were staying in (Ayr). There wasn’t that much to do, really, so we drove around a bit and eventually it got to dinner time. There weren’t many decent looking restaurants and we were going to give up and eat at the chalet we were staying at, but we saw a nice place called ‘Elliott’s’ or something, and we went there. First I didn’t think much of it, but I saw there was tempura on the menu (and I LOVE tempura), so I ordered that. Lauryn’s mum (I was staying with their family) had this steak, which I first thought was vile– I HATE steak. Lauryn had mussels and I was thoroughly repulsed. I mean, who could eat those slimy bits of goo? They’re like brains, all watery and inside a shell you have to rip open. Disgusting. But anyway, Lauryn had some of the steak and said it was good, and I was like ‘Ugh’, but I wanted to be adventurous, so I tried some. It was SO AMAZING!! It was done medium rare, and I think that’s the key. All the steaks I’ve ever had have been tough, dry and chewy. But this was so, like, tender and succulent, to use those lame words. But I was still happy with my tempura.

Keep in mind, all through this day, I was talking like Pontius Pilate from Life of Brian (you’d get it if you’ve seen it) and Lauryn was talking like Biggus. (I’ll exclude the last part of Biggus’ name because it doesn’t exactly fit with the U ((I think I’d call this blog a U, or a PG, cos some littlies won’t get all the stuff I talk about, maybe)) rating of my blog. But if you’ve seen it you know what it is!)

When we’d eaten, we walked around a bit and then went back, where Lauryn and I watched another movie. I think it was Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief. After that, it was still really late, but we kept laughing about Pilate and Biggus, and had a totally hilarious conversation with me as a Pilate-type person trying to talk to someone who REALLY didn’t understand what they were saying. Like this (something like this anyway):

“That woom was vewy big!”

“That womb?”

“Yes, that woom! Wasn’t it big? How could so many people fit in there?”

“A womb? How could anyone fit in there? What are you talking about? Like, a woman’s womb or something?”

“Well, a woom doesn’t have to belong to a woman…”

“What do you mean? Men don’t have wombs!”

“If they own a house, then they certainly have a woom. Many wooms, in fact.”

“WHAT?! Men don’t have wombs, let alone many!”

“Of course they do! Like a bedwoom, a bathwoom, a living woom and a dining woom, you know?”

“What sort of wombs are you talking about?”

“Wooms where you live. In a house.”

“OH! A room!”

“That’s what I said: a woom!”

“No, you said woom, not room.”

“I said woom! You’re saying I didn’t say woom, but instead said woom, when I definitely said woom!”

“You are confusing me.”

And so on. But this conversation went on way past midnight, then we got to sleep. Eventually.

So it was Wednesday, and we had a chilling out kind of day, not doing that much. In the afternoon, we went to the Robert Burns Museum thingy, and looked around the house he was born in, and it was so old-fashioned. I liked it. When we got back to the chalet, it was too late to watch a movie, so we watched You’ve Been Framed for a bit, then went to bed, again having a conversation of the sort like the previous one, except I was being Pilate and Lauryn was being Biggus. It was really funny, and we just died of laughter.

The next day, we boarded a ferry to the Isle of Arran and went to this castle called Brodick Castle, which was high up on a hill and FULL of guns and deer heads! You weren’t allowed to take pictures in there, which was annoying. I took some outside the castle though. When we finished in the castle, we went to a shop and made candles. It was awesome. Then, we went into a chocolate shop… HEAVEN!! I bought loads of chocolate as presents for people… and myself. I ate it all immediately. That night, we started to watch Tron Legacy, but we were really tired and stopped about a quarter of the way through.

On Friday we had to leave, so we packed up and went on the long trip back home. We watched Life of Brian again, as well as the rest of Tron Legacy, and Lauryn fell asleep. I listened to music.

Finally we arrived back, and there ended our holiday!

So, now for some questions… Have you ever been to Scotland before? What did you think of it? Have you seen Life of Brian? What did you think of it?

I’ll leave you with one last thing: “Stwike him Centuwion! Vewy woughly!”

Your vewy tired blogger, Jaz


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